Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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