Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
