everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
