i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
