Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
