We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
