Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize