There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
