I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
