How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize