then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
