I accidentally burped into my bong.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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