Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
