ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
