Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
