Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
