So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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