I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize