You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
