I hate your face
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize