Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
