so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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