I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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