So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
