my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
