just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
