I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
