Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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