How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
