She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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