Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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