the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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