Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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