It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
