we made out on top of his cat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
