he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
