So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
