Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
