some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
