Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
