yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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