i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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