id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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