there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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