if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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