That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
