I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
