i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
