We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
