i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
