Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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