Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
