Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
