I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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