i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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