Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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