I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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