She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize