I love black thongs
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
3pm strippers are depressing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize