My Higher Power is John Stamos
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just pee around me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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