What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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