why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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