You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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