I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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