She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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