I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
